


You Did What, Now?

by Freedom_Shamrock



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Implied Sexual Content, Implied drinking, Innuendo, Morning After, No actual sexual activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 01:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freedom_Shamrock/pseuds/Freedom_Shamrock
Summary: Marinette goes to hangover Sunday brunch with a secret.  Can she possibly make it out unscathed when the other party of said secret shows up?





	You Did What, Now?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chimpukampu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chimpukampu/gifts).



> Over on Tumblr, Chimpukampu posted [this excellent art,](http://chimpukampu.tumblr.com/post/182523156826/if-this-aint-college-au-adrinette-then-i-dunno) and I **HAD** to have a fic that went with it.

Marinette rested her head in a nest of her folded arms on the cafe table while the rest of her friends gathered for their usual hangover Sunday brunch.  They'd started the tradition the first week of university, and if you weren't working, deathly ill, or out of town, attendance was required. Failure to show, would result in numerous calls from the other attendees making up lies about the drunken exploits of the missing members, and treating them as truth until something more interesting replaced them. She didn't drink real often, but she always made it to brunch.

Still, she was tempted to skip today.  She could live with fake stories about her inebriated shenanigans as long as she didn't have to talk about what she'd actually done last night.  Tikki had found the whole thing hilarious, and suggested showing up and feigning innocence was her best bet. Her friends all thought she was sweet and pure and unlikely to do anything remotely naughty. She'd also gotten incredibly good at prevarication over the last five years. She didn't have to admit to anything they didn't already know, and her friends hadn't been there, in the room… they couldn't possibly know.  She could also bank on the rest of them still being groggy and headachey, some were probably still buzzed. Thanks to her miraculous metabolism, she was fully sober, if a bit tired, so she should be much sharper than them.

She tried to use the chaotic gathering time to plan her strategy. Of course flashes of her memory from last night kept intruding, and she resolutely shoved them away.  Stupid sexy blond boys messing her up, yet again. She could spend all the time she wanted recalling her time with Adrien  **later** .  Preferably when she was alone.  Now was not the time to remember how nice his hands felt in her hair, or what his breathless gasps and moans did to her.  Nope, nope, nope. Absolutely not. Stupid brain. Stupid hormones. Stupid--

A large hand settled on her shoulder.  "Morning, Mari," he whispered in her ear, his warm breath caressing her skin as it had just last night.

She jolted upright, nearly falling out of her chair as she gaped at him.  "Adrien?! You're here?" Adrien almost never made it to Sunday brunch. He had photoshoots nearly every Sunday since starting uni.  It was part of his agreement with his father.

He grinned at her. "In the flesh." He arched one eyebrow and then dropped gracefully into the chair beside her.  He either hadn't drank as much as he'd let on last night, or his recovery time was remarkably short. "Father fired his photography coordinator a few days back, so this weekend's shoots had to be cancelled."

"Oh my god," she muttered.  They'd made tentative plans to get together this afternoon, alone, to talk about… what had happened between them.  She'd thought she'd have time and a Tikki pep talk to work herself up for that.

"Woo!" Alya called. In a much quieter voice than she'd normally use.  She looked groggy and a little uncomfortable, so clearly her vodka habits had caught up with her this morning.  "Way to go, Chunks, making Sodium blush hard today!"

She would have objected to the nickname but Adrien beat her to speaking up.  "She's good with hard things," he said casually.

The table went silent before a low, "oooooh," sounded from everyone there.  

Alya cackled with glee. "Someone's got his game on."

He laughed, a more adult version of the carefree happy sound he let out when Marinette first fell for him.  The big stupid dork. "But I think I missed something. When did you start calling Mari, Sodium? She's the least salty person I've ever met."

"Oh dude," Nino said, stretching out the second word. "You missed out big time on chemistry study group last week… no, two weeks back."  He looked far too smug.

"It's really not important," Marinette jumped in, glaring at her friends.  "Just Alya being stupid. As usual." God, her face still felt hot. "It's not a nickname that will stick."  She hoped it wouldn't, anyway, however, Adrien had managed to get saddled with the nickname Chunks after mentioning that he preferred chocolate chunks to chocolate chips in his cookies a few years back.

"We'll have none of that negative self talk," Alya said, waving a dismissive hand. She turned back to Adrien, leaning heavily on the table. "You know the chemical symbol for sodium, of course."

"Na," Adrien supplied helpfully.

Alya grinned.  "Yes. N. A. A lovely acronym for our darling sweet cheeks."

"Alya!" Marinette squeaked, mortified.

Adrien looked puzzled.

"It allows us to extol her hottest feature without offending others," Alya continued.

Adrien continued to look stumped.

"Nice. Ass," Nino said, when his patience ran out.  "Nice ass. N.A. Sodium." He gestured with his hands to indicate each step of the thought process.  There was murmuring down the long table, as their other friends agreed.

"Aaaah."  Adrien's face brightened further, which seemed like it shouldn't have even been possible.  He turned to Marinette. "Can't argue with perfect logic," he said. "But nice though her ass may be, it's not her hottest feature."  His smirk was straight out of the Chat Noir themed shoot he'd done last month, and could honestly rival her partner's sass.

"What?!" Alya demanded. "Nothing is finer than that ass."  She pounded once on the table in emphasis.

"I'm sure Adrien has his reasons," Kim suggested.  "What aspect of Mari do  **you** think is hottest?" 

"Thighs!" Alix called out.  "I bet he's a sucker for thighs that could crush his head."

"Ohmygod, Alix!" Marinette objected, her voice far more shrill than she would have liked.  The visual was bad enough, or distracting enough, but she was a bit extra sensitive to words like 'sucker,' this morning.

Adrien nodded contemplative.  "She has very nice thighs." He dropped one hand to settle on one of her thighs.  "But our Mari  **is** kind of an awesome total package."  He caught her chin gently in one hand, his eyes sparkling with mischief and something else, something she'd only really gotten to see for the first time last night.  He ran his thumb over her bottom lip.

"That's some quality eye-fucking right there," Nino pointed out.  Marinette would have liked to snap at him but she wanted to stay in the moment more.

"You have the sexiest mouth," he said quietly.

She stared up at him, hoping for a moment that he would bend to kiss her like he had last night.  She could happily drown in his kisses for eternity.

"Woo hoo!" Alya shouted, forcibly calling Marinette's attention back to the present and her place in the cafe.  "Did you two  **finally** sleep together last night?  Is that where you went?" Her hands were raised in the air like she'd just finished a race. 

"Finally?" Adrien asked, raising that eyebrow again as Marinette spun away to hide her over-heated face in her hands. "I had no idea that this was a much awaited turn of events.  And alas, I must disappoint you. We did  **not** sleep together last night."

"Nooooo," Alya moaned.  "You just ruined my perfect morning.  Please tell me that you at  **least** fooled around a bit."

"I'm sorry Alya, but I can't do that," Adrien said in a robotic monotone.  "I'm a gentleman, and even if we had fooled around, I couldn't tell you." His hand gently squeezed her knee, reassuring her without being inappropriate.  

Marinette peeked out of her hands at him.  He really was one of the sweetest people she'd ever known.

"Mariiiiii," Alya whined.  "You need to pine after a less pure cinnamon roll.  I need deets on your love life."

"Maybe she doesn't want to share with you because you're kind of pushy about it," Adrien suggested.

"I just need to make sure someone's taking care of my girl," Alya insisted.

"I'm a big girl, Als," Marinette said.  "I'm plenty able to take care of myself."  When her inadvertent innuendo penetrated her hungover friends' brains, they snickered like thirteen year olds.  "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Like none of you ever masturbate." She rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, fine," Alya said, and for a moment it looked like she'd let go of her topic.  "But what about Adrien. I worry about him. All alone in that big apartment. Touch starved.  Neglected."

"I promise I'm fine," Adrien insisted.

"You getting some action you're not telling us about?" Alya asked.  "Are you being safe? We need to keep you healthy, sunshine."

The usually unruffled Adrien turned bright pink.

"Oh god Alya," Marinette groaned.  "He's single. He's safe. I gave him a blowjob last night.  Yes, everything works. Leave him alone." The table went utterly silent, and she realized what she'd blurted out in her frustration.

Alya's eyes went wide and an enormous smile appeared over her face. "You got drunk," she said, starting to giggle.

"Yes Alya, I was drinking," Marinette admitted.  "But I wasn't that drunk."

"You got drunk and blew chunks!" Alya squealed, pointing first at Marinette and then at Adrien.

"I don't know about you," Adrien said quietly, whispering in her ear.  "But I'm not sure I need brunch anymore."

Alya scrambled to pull the paper table covers off two of their tables, scrawling on them before folding them into ridiculous hats.  The one she shoved onto Adrien's head said  _ My friends call me chunks. _  Straight-forward and simple.  Marinette's however said  _ Got so drunk last night I blew chunks. _

"Picture time!" Alya said with a cackle, holding up her cell phone.

Marinette covered her face.  "I need better friends."

"I'd like to be better friends," Adrien replied.  "How about we ditch brunch and go have that talk now."

"You're brilliant."  Marinette abruptly stood up, ripping off both hats and tossing them at Alya.  "Rain check! See you next Sunday." She grabbed Adrien's hand and ran out of the cafe.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this during a five hour dance rehearsal, when not helping with costumes, filming for home practice or supervising dancers on break. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.


End file.
